I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
