Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you inspire me to be a worse person
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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