Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
