also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize