Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
