so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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