I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
