well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
