Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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