I'm lost and stupid without you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize