Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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