let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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