if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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