Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
