I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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