Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
