I think my vagina is haunted
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
