Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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