the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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