when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
