Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize