Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
