Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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