apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
