you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
