tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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