when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
