you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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