It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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