This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
