I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
