He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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