we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
