I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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