i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
