At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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