Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
