butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
