i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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