So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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