OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
