Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
