Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize