Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
