how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
