I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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