i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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