she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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