Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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