how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
