We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
