I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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