Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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