Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
