i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
