Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize