it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I need water and some morals
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize