is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
