I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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