So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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