My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We are all done wearing pants today
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
