The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
